Funny Definitions

Funny Definitions


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CIGARETTE

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!


MARRIAGE

It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master


LECTURE

An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students
without passing through the minds of either



COMPROMISE

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece


TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!


DICTIONARY

A place where divorce comes before marriage



CONFERENCE ROOM

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later
on


ECSTASY

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before


CLASSIC

A book which people praise, but never read


SMILE

A curve that can set a lot of things straight!


OFFICE

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life


YAWN

The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth



ETC

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do



COMMITTEE

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done
together


EXPERIENCE


The name men give to their Mistakes


ATOM BOMB

An invention to bring an end to all inventions


PHILOSOPHER

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead



DIPLOMAT:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip



OPPORTUNIST

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river


OPTIMIST

A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"



PESSIMIST

A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY


MISER

A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!


FATHER

A banker provided by nature

CRIMINAL

A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught


BOSS

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early


POLITICIAN

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later


DOCTOR

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you